Monthly Archives: January 2018

bau bau

I felt a rush of empathetic curiosity about the lives of the unfamous, the unrecorded desires and ambitions of artists who had been here too. What’s the ratio of working artists to the sum total of art stars?  I hate … Continue reading

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swipe

I look at myself in the mirror while showering and I like what I see. I look quite in shape. And I look like a 25-almost-26-years-old woman, not the usual little girl (at least without clothes on).  

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un cero

At night I can’t fall asleep. Too many thoughts too many sounds too much light. And I think of him and I cannot sleep. I miss him. And I think of sex and all I’d do to him. Then I … Continue reading

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blauer vogel

A shiatsu treatment in Vienna made me reflect on some things. That maybe things are not as I imagined them, and I have to accept that and readapt to the new situation, but I should not give up on my … Continue reading

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dim light

I can’t feel anything. Not bad things (even if I’m rationally aware of them) and not good things (small things that make me usually feel happy to be alive). I am numb, a stone inside. Just a compact block of … Continue reading

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take ten minutes for pleasuring your body

I don’t feel good here. I wake up in the morning and a weight falls on my body. I don’t feel good waking up to this messy cold flat. I don’t feel good waking up to a city I’m not … Continue reading

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clog

I feel devastated. How can it be that I had found someone who loved me so much, with whom I want to have a future, that we were really happy, and now it’s all crumbling? He’s taking away the thing … Continue reading

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inflates

-4°C and sun. Finally cold winter weather starts. Everything frosty. Without thinking too much about it I go out for a run. I don’t like so much running alone, but it felt so good. I got lost and then I … Continue reading

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grease

All this talking with him about communication and learning to say things clearly and stand up for my wellbeing made me think of my exboyfriend, the one that first broke my heart in such a devastating way. I was barely … Continue reading

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ignorance is a bliss

The holidays were intense, difficult, desperate, happy, comforting and also very nice. Surely not restful. The old year is finished, finally! That piece of shit, such a terrible year where what could go wrong went wrong, is gone (I still … Continue reading

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