I am doing too many things all at once and I can’t focus on any of them. None of them is really profitable or enjoyable, even though it’s nice to feel busy and have full days. But it’s hard to get pleasure from these things because they are so scattered and fragmented and my mind is spread and distracted.
I feel confused inside me. I don’t know what I want more, I don’t know my priorities. I don’t know how to make all the things fit in each other. Obviously I can’t do everything, but I don’t know what feels more important.
Yoga at dusk on the green roof deck of a couple of friends, with another friend teaching. Lovely. The light slowly fading , the first stars appearing, relaxed women time. Kids sleeping. The plants growing on the roof: to eat to spice to drink. Wonderful. A cosy home, a nice dinner, a familiar atmosphere, a couple whose members love and support each other and are such a pleasure to watch. Oh, it softened my soul. I relaxed all my needs of controlling the world. I really needed it (even though I came home so late and slept so little).
That time of the year has arrived. When I need to wash my feet and legs with cold water in the evening otherwise I cannot sleep.
I’m tired in my legs.
I feel grateful for a spontaneous nap in the middle of the day on my free day, after a morning of running around (free days get overloaded with all kinds of errands!). I was just lying on my bed for a second and then I passed out.
It’s nice to take time to just let go of everything; learning to switch off is as important as learning to switch on. I’m always so efficiently working to keep together everything around me.
Why do I feel that I need to cuddle myself? I bought a few little treats for myself, even though I’m a bit short on money.